I popped over to a neighbour’s place the other day to borrow something or other and took along a bag of nettles to give them. When you live far from places to buy things, people around you become what you rely on for what you need, and it is nice to have something to give them in return.
Most people would call that a trade, but heading home with the borrowed item, I thought that even if I had nothing to trade, my neighbour would have helped me anyway.
In the first few years out here in Lund, when I had no house, no garden and nothing to offer, everyone I met was just as ready to help as they are now, even though they had never met me before. We could call that simple generosity, but it is something much more important.
The thing is, nobody makes a life for themselves out here, or in any isolated place, without help. There is always one tool you need that you do not have, or one thing you need to move that cannot be moved by one person.
More than that, when you make your own life, build your own house and grow your own garden, there is a lot to learn. It is not just things you need, but skills and knowledge, things you cannot buy at a store, even if you wanted to.
Making a life out here means relying on others, and often in a way you will probably never be able to pay back. People who have been here a long time are set up to meet their own needs; there is not a lot they do not already have.
Doing things for each other ceases to be a trade in the usual sense of the word, in that you are not exchanging one thing for another. It is more like a gift economy, where everyone gives what they have and does not count what they receive back.
It is more about knowing that if you have anything at all, it is because of all the help you received in getting where you are.
You pay it forward by sharing what you have and by helping the next new person who comes along.
Instead of measuring success by how much I can get for myself, Lund’s culture of giving makes me feel like I have accomplished something in my life here, enough to have things to give away.
A lot of folks think life in the country is about doing everything for yourself and not relying on anyone, but that is a lonely way to live.
When life is about looking for things you can give instead of things you can get, everything changes.
Instead of always feeling like there is not enough, you realize how much abundance is all around. I would not trade that for anything.
