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Wild Pick, chapter nine: The cougar’s revenge

The life and adventures of Linda Syms, oyster farmer of Desolation Sound
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Wayne Lewis with a cougar that would become an ill-fated dinner.

Chapter eight recap: Linda Syms and her boyfriend Wayne Lewis slowly established themselves on the remote, off-grid shores of Desolation Sound. By the early 1980s, they had handbuilt their own cabin, created a large and bountiful garden, staked a claim for their first shellfish farm and formed a farm of sorts, complete with chickens and goats. That’s when the trouble started.

From the side door of their cabin, Wayne and Linda stared in shock at the large cougar that was transfixed by their bright flashlight beam. Under its front paw was one of their beloved goats, struggling and bleating for its life.

“Please pass me a gun,” Wayne uttered with calm determination in his voice, not taking his eyes or the flashlight beam off the cougar.

Linda backed away. Even though there were far more powerful guns on the rack, she grabbed the first rifle she could reach, which happened to be a .22 calibre with a 14-shot clip, because that was the one that was always loaded.

Wayne slowly traded Linda the flashlight for the rifle. She kept the light trained on the defiant cougar while Wayne slid the gun up to his shoulder. Noting the movement behind the blinding light, the cougar let out a deafening, spine-chilling screech.

Wayne opened fire. He pulled off five shots, all directly into that gaping mouth. And even though a .22 isn’t a powerful gun, five shots was enough. The cougar slumped lifeless to the ground.

Amazingly, the young goat pulled himself out from under the cougar and regained his cloven feet. He suffered four small puncture wounds to the neck that would heal. The only lasting effect from the near fatal cougar attack was that the little goat could never make another sound.

The cougar turned out to be a magnificent specimen that measured over nine feet long from nose to tip of tail. Many in the Okeover and Desolation Sound area considered that to be a record, since Cougar Nancy Crowther’s largest kill over her many decades of cougar carnage measured just over seven feet.

Like Nancy, Linda felt a pang of guilt seeing that huge, dead cougar in her yard, a perfect creature that died because, as Linda put it, she wanted milk for her coffee, which the goats provided.

Linda and Wayne were serious about their homesteading wilderness efforts. They strongly believed in eating what was provided.

They had already tried seal meat with teriyaki sauce, which Linda described as very dark and rich, along with staples such as deer, grouse and bear. They even attempted eating chipmunk once, but Linda says it definitely wasn’t worth it.

Wayne also believed strongly in the spirit of recognition and the cycle of life, so he announced that the giant cougar slumped at their feet would also become dinner.

Feline feast

Their tradition with fresh meat was to eat the heart and the liver first, while the rest of the meat aged in their cooler. The cougar had an enormous liver, so they invited friends over to join in the feline feast, which went well into the night.

The next morning, everyone who had eaten cougar liver woke up feeling like death warmed over. They had horrible headaches. Their skin had turned bright red.

At first they thought they were hungover, until they realized their collective malady was way beyond a hangover. Wayne was so sick he dragged himself out from the cabin and lay under a tree, thinking he was done for.

Linda started feeling a little better by noon, so she unwittingly made herself a cougar-liver sandwich for lunch. Bad move. She got sick all over again, but it helped prove the source of their illness: the cougar had taken its vengeance.

They would later discover that the liver of many primary-apex, meat-eating predators contains so much vitamin A that it’s highly toxic for humans to consume, a condition known as hypervitaminosis A, which can cause everything from bone swelling to vomiting, as well as literally a rash of other symptoms.

When they eventually managed to drag themselves to their Powell River doctor for some type of remedy, his advice was “stop taking so much vitamin A.”

Everyone got better, but Linda’s hands and feet peeled for the next several months as a guilty reminder. They gave the nine-foot cougar pelt to a friend.

More and more cougars continued to stalk the shores and woods of Salubrious Bay, and the big cats continued to snag the goats. Linda’s herd, which once numbered 14 goats, was soon picked off to none.

Unlike Cougar Nancy, Linda and Wayne decided they didn’t have -ahem- the stomach for fighting it out with cougars. Further, they felt that owning livestock that attracted cougars wasn’t smart, or ecologically responsible. So no more goats.

They would instead turn their focus to the shoreline, and the oysters, and grow their farm that way. That’s when Linda came to the realization that her chosen shellfish profession was undertaken in the middle of the night, and in the middle of the winter.

You’ll read about those late-night escapades in the next chapter of Wild Pick: The life and adventures of Linda Syms, oyster farmer of Desolation Sound. 

Grant Lawrence is the author of the new book Return to Solitude and a radio personality who considers Powell River and Desolation Sound his second home. He would like to thank all those who attended his “Stories and Songs” show at the Patricia Theatre on May 25. Grant’s book and Linda’s two books: Salt Water Rain and Shell Games are for sale at Pollen Sweaters in Lund and Marine Traders in Powell River.