This year, instead of golf clubs or a new barbecue, why don’t dads give themselves the gift of acknowledging their contributions as fathers.
Often, fathers refer to themselves as “babysitters”—but such terminology demeans the value fathers provide as caregivers.
So this Father’s Day why don’t dads start by recognizing that fathering is in fact caregiving.
Father’s Day abounds will gag gifts that deny a father’s real worth like golf slippers, books on “how to traumatize your children,” suit pyjamas and handerpants™—yes, underpants for hands. All deny a father’s ability to actively care for their children as responsible adults.
This is the post-millennial-age, fathers no longer have to be Ward Cleaver-style dads—stern, distant, sweater-wearing.
Although today’s dads are free to nurture their children, just as mothers are, outmoded style stereotypes about fathering persist in the media: the blundering tool-man dad from Tool Time; the lazy, beer-swilling dad from The Simpsons; even the alluringly positive single-dad role-model Danny Turner from Full House had to bring in extra people to help with his children. And given recent revelations, even the sweater-wearing Bill Cosby-type dad is no role model.
Parenthood is a daunting prospect with demands on time, money, self and soul and the decision to become a father isn’t one to be taken lightly.
1980s’ characters aside, fathers may laugh and say television dads are all in fun—but the laughter stops when the joke becomes all too real and society continues to overlook their parental contributions. For example, how many employers take fathers seriously when paternity leave is asked for?
Last year, Alexander Angus filed a complaint at the BC Human Rights Tribunal against the City of Victoria and Canadian Union of Public Employees (CUPE) Local 50 arguing he did not have the same parental leave benefits as a woman or a gay man with a new baby—mediation was recommended.
The number of male politicians who had their ability to govern questioned because they were dads can probably be counted on one hand, no fingers. When Barack Obama ran for president his two school-age children were a benefit, not a cause for doubt.
Dads are not just bread-winners, they are caregivers, and when society recognizes that, fathers will be the first to follow.
