Heart of the Matter: The wonderful world of lubes, part three

The third and final piece of this series on personal lubricants has arrived, and it’s one of my favourites. I hope that you have been following along, but if not, over the past two articles, I have gone over the pros, cons and best uses for water-based and silicone lubes. This final part will be talking about coconut oil as a lubricant.

Typically, I would not recommend oil to be used on or in the genitals (especially vaginas), but coconut oil is the exception to this rule.

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One of my most favourite things about coconut oil is that you can use it to give your partner a body massage and then move straight into erotic touch, incorporating all of their sexy parts. If you used a regular or scented massage oil, you would need to wash your hands (and anything else oily) before touching or penetrating your partner; that can be a bit of a mood killer if you need to stop what you are doing in the middle of everything to go shower off all the oil.

Coconut oil is excellent because of its versatility, as described above, not to mention it does not dry out or get sticky; it just stays nice and slippery. It definitely feels different than a more natural feeling water-based lubricant, but I personally would not classify one as better than the other, only different.

You can purchase a few different types of coconut oil. I prefer the unrefined oil (it will come in a solid form, but is very easy to melt) as it has had less things done to it. Also, warm oil feels amazing on skin and it only takes an extra minute to melt it.

However, you might not be a fan of the natural coconut smell or needing to warm it up to bring it to a liquid consistency, in which case there are options for a refined oil (the coconut smell has been removed in processing) and an already liquefied form of oil (also quite processed). I usually gently warm up a quarter cup of oil and pour it into a travel-size lotion container with a pop cap, and then the bottle can be dropped into a cup of hot water later on and ready for use in a minute or two. It keeps it much tidier and convenient to use.   

As amazing as coconut oil is, there are still a couple of things you need to keep in mind if you are going to incorporate this into your pleasure accessories. Coconut oil can never be used with latex, so if you are using condoms, you will need to be sure that you are using polyurethane or another latex-free condom. Coconut oil is also not compatible with silicone toys, so be sure to use only hard plastic, glass or a non-lubricated and non-latex condom over your silicone toy to protect your assets.  

That about wraps it up for my take on the wonderful world of lubes. I hope you continue to enjoy finding the best slip for your slide. Remember, it really is about the journey (even though the destination is pretty fabulous, too).

Niseema Emery is a certified intimacy and relationship coach in Powell River.

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