Heart of the Matter: The wonderful world of lubes, part two

In the last instalment of this column, I introduced the concept of water-based personal lubricant: Why it’s good, how it’s beneficial to your sex life, the things to look for when choosing a good one and some things to stay away from.

The topic of personal lubricants really stirred up some online conversations, and part of me wondered how such a positive thing could be taken in such an offensive way. But then I remembered how insidious sexual shame can be. It sneaks its way in and suffocates its victims in such a way that you do not even see it coming.

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It is exactly why I am here writing about lubricants and coaching people to have more fulfilling sex lives, to help release the shame that prevents you from living your most pleasurable life. And sometimes, for some people, that means knowing how to pick the best lubricant and bringing a bottle of it home with you.

On that note, I will move on to the good stuff, part two of the wonderful world of lubes. Just to briefly recap, in the last article, I talked about how there are three main types of lubricants. I talked about water-based lubricants and today I will talk about silicone-based lubricants.

Silicone lubricants are different from water-based lubricants in a few different ways. Silicone lube is typically the default lube on lubricated condoms, unless it specifies non-lubricated or water-based (sometimes condoms using water-based lube read as H20 or aqua), it will be silicone.

Two of the best things about silicone lube is that it is: A, waterproof and B, does not dry up or get sticky (the way a water-based lube does). This means you will need to wash it off with soap and water, since it does not absorb into your skin. The good news for you is this means the slip will be much longer-lived and you can use this one in the shower or the tub (no, water is not a suitable lubricant and be very careful not to slip on the shower floor if you do try it).

I have heard of silicone lube being used for all sorts of things, many people like it for anal penetration because that area of the body is not self-lubricating and silicone will not dry up. Personally, I think it might be a bit too thin in consistency, but to each their own.

Silicone lube and vaginal penetration is common, although it will not give as much of a natural feeling, but it will be silky smooth. I would not suggest it as one that is nice for any sort of oral activity; it will not make you sick but it probably won’t taste very good. One other thing that silicone lube is great for is minimizing the chafe on your inner thighs in the summer; not really a sex thing, but it is helpful for some of us.  

There are a few things to be aware of with silicone lubes. One of the biggest no-no’s is that you cannot ever use silicone lube with silicone sex toys; it will melt your toy and degrade the material making your beautiful, non-porous accessory into a porous breeding ground for bacteria. This also goes for lubricated condoms on toys, do not do it unless you do not mind throwing toys in the garbage.

Silicone lube is compatible with glass and hard plastic materials, as well as good old fashioned skin-to-skin contact.

Come back in two weeks to learn about the third and final type of lubricants, it is one of my favourites.       

Niseema Emery is a certified intimacy and relationship coach in Powell River.

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