“I’ll try.” At some point, all of us have heard and many of us have said it.
I learned to dislike this phrase because it reminded me of my old self. After one year of struggling in business, I hired a business coach who gave me a few people to contact. As I was leaving her office, I meekly told her, “I’ll try.”
That’s what you have been doing most of your life, she responded. Then it hit me, those words, I’ll try, will not work for me anymore.
When we loosely use this phrase, we are not committing to doing what we’re supposed to do. When we fail to do what we promised to do, we disappoint people who are counting on us to get things done.
Using these words is stopping us from succeeding before we even get started. You can control your thoughts and significantly increase your confidence by asking for help.
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” ~ Nelson Mandela
Many people say “I’ll try” because they don’t know how to start or complete a project. Change the wording to “how can I?” or “can you help me?”
Today, it seems we have so many choices, making it harder for us to decide which is the right one for us. We can also become trapped in always seeking out “the perfect one,” constantly living with regret, obsessing about what could have been or wondering if there was something better we missed out on.
Many people avoid making decisions about their home, finances or life. But the truth is, not making a decision is a decision that can affect your life. Making the right decision requires skill, commitment and persistence.
Not everything will work on your first try, repetition is a mother of success. To learn how to make better decisions, I highly recommend the book: The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz.
Playing the blame game
Blaming others for unfortunate circumstances is an unhealthy habit that will keep you stuck and unmotivated. Why do we do it, knowing the consequences?
There are three possible reasons:
- The blame is a pattern to avoid accountability
- The blame is the reason to avoid change
- The blame is an escape from feeling vulnerable
What are the losses of blaming others?
You might feel blaming others for your life is not harmful to anybody. Think again.
Blaming others can have long-term negative effects on your life and personality. Blaming others is a big and tiring job because you live a life of constant manipulation of others in order to meet your needs.
By pointing a finger at everyone else, you are actually making yourself powerless. If everything is someone else’s fault, then that means you don’t have the power to change anything.
In any healthy relationship, there is no room for blame and manipulation.
Letting go of blame is not suggesting to excuse the behaviour of those who contribute to your life’s hardship. This is about you and the freedom and happiness you gain by taking responsibility for your life.
Please read The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown.
Ranka Burzan owns a professional organizing company based in Powell River and has written several books on reducing clutter and becoming more organized. For information, go to solutionsorganizing.com.