“Oh my GOSH it’s adorable!” my 3 year old niece declared as she held up the new outfit against her little body. She was opening birthday presents and in true Quin fashion, she was giving us a show as she opened each gift.
We laughed (and are still laughing) at this pint sized three-nager and her effusive personality. She is truly a darling.
Kids are like that…..they are completely unrestrained when expressing feelings. They don’t hold back and the transparency can be both hilarious and sobering.
Their wee minds translate everything literally at this stage. For instance, yesterday my grandson Dylan came running into the house speaking so quickly that his words were tumbling over each other. He wanted to find something and quick! I said to him, “Dylan, slow down – speak slowly”. He stopped, took a breath, looked me in the eye like I was a half-wit and said, “BAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL”. Needless to say, I laughed for a ridiculously long time and even as I type this I am giggling. I told him to speak slowly……and he delivered – literally.
I envy little kids. They don’t have to read a room, translate subtle nuances or decipher passive aggressive behavior. No…..kids can say and do almost anything because at this point they are still learning, so everything can become a teachable moment.
Not so with adults. No, we watch our ‘P’s and Q’s’ and learn when to tread lightly, speak carefully or sometimes just nod and smile. We walk on top of this tiny tightrope where one slip can cost us a relationship or a job.
That is, until we get past the age of giving a crap, and we circle back to our three year old self and we cast off the restraints of social decorum and begin telling it like it is. I call it becoming an ‘emerging senior citizen’.
Have you ever gone to breakfast with an emerging senior citizen? They will keep sending their eggs back until they come out EXACTLY as they requested. There is no rye bread for toast? After the eye rolls and the castigating loud sighs, they would grudgingly accept the white bread option – they WILL remember this when it comes time to leave the tip. You may ask, “What is the difference between an emerging senior citizen and a senior citizen?” Not much, except that the emerging senior citizen is generally still in the workforce and the combination of having money AND not giving a crap can be a powerful marriage. They will record their experience on Yelp and Trip Advisor.
At 53 years of age, I find myself slip-sliding on the path to emerging senior citizen. You know when you are on a water slide and you can slow yourself down by placing your hands on the side of the slide? That is what I find myself doing more and more lately. In the next few years, I will lose my grip completely and free-fall down towards that pool of “I don’t give a damn” and “Who cares what anyone thinks”.
It is both emotionally freeing AND terrifying. I imagine that the first time I utter the first thing that comes to mind without straining it through the layers of “should I or shouldn’t I” it will be uncomfortable for everyone. It WILL become easier.
Judy Kucharuk is a lover of sarcasm, witty people and footnotes. You can read her book “Naked Tuesday” or catch her on CBC Radio Daybreak North where she shares her “Peace of Mind”. Follow her on twitter @judylaine.
