One news outlet called it a “Marathon of Mourning”. For 17 days we watched gut-wrenching footage of a Killer Whale known as J-35 pushing her dead newborn calf through the waters around Vancouver Island.
Was it grief? Was it mourning? Scientists seem to believe it was both, as Killer Whales are known as very social creatures with strong familial bonds.
The world watched as she heartbreakingly pushed the dead calf for approximately 1000 miles.
If you ask me, Killer Whales are more highly evolved than humans. We shouldn’t be surprised that a grieving mother carried her dead newborn calf for 17 days. It gave the pod the opportunity to share in her grief, to support her in her mourning. Maybe it took 17 days for her to be emotionally ready to let go?
I will bet that every mother felt a connection to J-35, regardless if they have been in the same position or not – grieving for a lost child. Seeing her push her dead calf for over two weeks didn’t raise alarm bells, rather I was impressed at how they managed their grieving process. The entire pod supported her and seemed to understand that she needed time to process the circumstances. The pod watched her closely as she worked through her loss until she was able to carry on without the calf. They even were seen pushing the calf for her, giving her time to feed and rest.
I know that I am anthropomorphizing this Killer Whale, but it is not difficult to see that she was suffering as any new mother would suffer.
You know what surprises me the most? It was the fact that so many were surprised at the level of her grief: “When will she let go?”, “How long will she carry the newborn?”. We paid attention because of the visual reminder of her loss. We could see the dead newborn calf.
We humans have created this time sensitive situation between death and funeral – encapsulating our grief into a capsule of time where all traces of the loss are removed as quickly as possible Has evolution quantified this into a neat little package for us?
This Killer Whale went beyond the anticipated capsule of time; therefore it was somehow deemed abnormal. I say that nothing about grieving is normal – it can’t be placed on a timeline.
Humans could learn a thing or two from Killer Whales.
Judy Kucharuk is a lover of sarcasm, witty people and footnotes. You can read her book “Naked Tuesday” or catch her on CBC Radio Daybreak North where she shares her “Peace of Mind”. Follow her on twitter @judylaine.