by Andy Rice For over a decade, Savary Island residents and committee members have complained about finding human waste on the island’s South Beach after August Long-Weekend. And rightfully so. As a journalist I’ve attended a few meetings on the subject but have yet to see many solutions. I’d like to explore one here.
Anyone spending a weekend drinking alcohol in the blazing sun while listening to music loud and deep enough to send shockwaves through their colon is going to need a washroom sooner or later. So why on earth wouldn’t there be portable toilets or designated washroom facilities on Savary’s South Beach during the BC Day bash? After all, the only place that’s in more serious need of some is probably the tasting lounge at a Metamucil factory.
It’s because, as bothersome as this problem is to the residents and community stakeholders, it’s not their responsibility to clean up feces, bottles and garbage they have nothing at all to do with. It’s not their responsibility to fund receptacles for these materials either. The responsibility lies in every visitor to that beach, each of whom should have enough conscience to haul out whatever they bring in. But then parties aren’t exactly about having a conscience.
The party mentality is centred around cutting loose and living in the moment. That’s why bars are full of bottles, spills and stains at the end of every evening. That’s why house parties often end in a morning-after visit from an insurance adjuster. Unless there’s a butler going around collecting empties or a security guard making sure little Timmy Two-beers doesn’t start making his own contribution to the litter box he found on the porch, there will always be things that need cleaning up the next day. After downing a couple bottles of wine, South Beach probably starts to look a lot like a litter box too. And if there’s no official place to do one’s business because nobody bothered to rent or plan for one, it’s not surprising it becomes a litter box every August.
Organizers are obviously doing a terrible job if their celebrations include subwoofers the size of outhouses but no places to void one’s bowels. Are there even any organizers at all? The main attraction may well be that there is no structure and no rules. That kind of thing makes for ideal party conditions, and a minimal conscience.
What the weekend celebrations need is an official planning committee. A really annoying, diligent and uncool one—one that’s made of overprotective parents and rich snowbirds who wear their Tilley hats to bed. Maybe throw a few festival experts and logistical personnel in there too, just to round things out. If there’s anything that will kill your vibe at an unsanctioned party at the beach, it’s probably going to be a barge full of portable toilets and security staff coming toward you at top speed when you’re drunk, topless and trying to defecate in time to your favourite dubstep song.
Large gatherings of people are safer and far more environmentally responsible with structure. Sooner or later, someone’s going to have to organize this thing, and when they do I think we’ll see its cool-factor go right down the toilet.
Andy Rice is a writer and professional musician currently on assignment at the Powell River Peak.
