On a sunbleached afternoon on February 11, 1990, after 27 years of imprisonment, Nelson Mandela walked out of Victor Verster Prison in Cape Town, South Africa. The subsequent act of pardoning his oppressors and removal of the unjust system that divided his country has made him a model of forgiveness and its power to strengthen, bond and heal the human spirit.
Mandela’s strength to forgive begin a process to heal wounds that apartheid inflicted on South Africans. His actions laid the groundwork for the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, the restorative justice process where perpetrators of gross injustices can meet their victims in a public setting in hopes of healing societal wounds without further violence.
This model of forgiveness on a large scale was seen as successful, for the most part, and was adapted by Canada in 2008. The Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada was created to document the history and impact residential schools had on indigenous people throughout Canada. This process toward justice for indigenous people continues today.
The therapeutic and healing possibilities of forgiveness in our own lives can have a positive impact and influence mental wellness in fundamental ways as well, including self-forgiveness.
Guilt about past wrongs committed can be a positive, corrective thing. It tells us we have violated our internal value system and a change to more positive behavior is needed. However, guilt or shame without eventual self-forgiveness can create the toxic environment for self-hate and addictive, destructive behaviours to thrive.
In my own experience in recovery from addiction, forgiveness has been an invaluable tool in healing and, eventually, wellness. Anger and resentment can be the fuel that violently propels self-destructive behaviours such as alcohol and drug addiction.
A hard hitting and memorable quote I overheard while living in a treatment and recovery centre was, “resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
There is a self-destructive absurdity when stuck in the quicksand of anger and resentment yet, like most cognitive pathologies, it’s almost impossible to gauge the amount of self-harm being done and think rationally during episodes of these negative states.
Some adverse medical conditions proven to be associated with anger when it becomes chronic include increased production of stress hormones such as cortisol, poor sleep quality and, potentially, clinical depression.
Growing up as a Catholic, I’ve usually associated forgiveness in a religious or spiritual way, however, along with the behavioural psychology of forgiveness, there is further science to forgiveness in a neuro-anatomical context.
Neuroscience researchers have used an MRI to map areas of the brain affected when healthy subjects were told to imagine social situations that were intensely emotionally hurtful and anger inducing. Our emotional states influence our brain’s function in a very direct and mappable way.
Forgiveness and self-forgiveness can be a personal Truth and Reconciliation Commission for our present lives. A profound and healing act, like the bright sunlight on that February afternoon in suburban Cape Town, can cleanse the troubled parts of our lives, and ourselves, so we can confidently step forward into a new, better future.
Robert Skender is a Powell River freelance writer and health commentator.
