For someone who cannot muster up the will to get out of bed, hearing they should get over it is no comfort. Neither is hearing that being unable to go to work or control their behaviour is their fault.
“What’s wrong with you?” “Just focus on the positive.” “You’re not even trying.” “What are you—crazy?” are just some of the common comments that people with mental illness hear from family and friends.
Shawna Mann grew up in Powell River but has recently moved to Victoria to attend university and pick up an education she had to leave. This has been a big step for her as she has struggled throughout her life with what has most recently been diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder with mania, according to Mann.
As a child, Mann always felt like an outsider and spent most of her time with adults. Her teachers thought she perhaps had a developmental disability but she scored extremely high on IQ tests.
“I was a ‘global learner’ who had to learn the whole concept first before understanding the details,” wrote Mann to the Peak.
Following high school Mann went to university where she struggled, eventually dropping out in her third year with the onset of her mental illness. In her life since then, Mann said she has been in and out of hospital, has lived on the streets and in a variety of places with the occasional job and a marriage that fell apart because of her illness. She is attempting to piece her life together again but still struggles to make connections.
One Powell River woman agreed to tell her story of her struggle with depression for this article so long as she could remain anonymous.
In her early teens she began to experiment with drugs and struggled with feelings of alienation and depression. Her father committed suicide when she was 12 and her mother went through hard times.
“I could not grasp reality and what I had I hated,” she wrote. “I started to live life without fear of dying and doing things that would hurt me or hopefully kill me.”
At 16, while living with her brother and his wife, the woman had a child. At 18 she attempted suicide by taking an overdose of pills. This would be the first of more than a dozen times that she tried to take her own life. She also has engaged in deliberate self-harm, a symptom of mental illness.
With medical help the woman managed to lead a relatively normal life, getting married and having another child. She hid her illness from her children when they were young but as they grew they realized how often their mother ended up in the hospital and why.
“I tried to hide my depression from everyone and appear to be what is considered ‘normal,’” she wrote. “It is still a battle to maintain that facade.”
A variety of medications prescribed by a variety of doctors have addressed concerns but left her to deal with many side effects. She underwent numerous shock therapy, or electroconvulsive, treatments, which she said have affected her memory. After 28 years of marriage and work she still finds no joy in life.
“You get angry with yourself for being depressed all the time, so you start cutting yourself to relieve the anger,” she wrote. “But to anyone who asks, I am fine. I’m always fine. That’s what I am. It’s very tiring.”
Normally it is bad practice to use anonymous sources in journalism as it can hurt a publication’s credibility. The policy at the Peak is not to do it. With this series it has become necessary because so few people are willing to speak out and have it known that they struggle with a mental illness. They don’t want people in the community to know because of the stigma attached to it.
Mental illness is not a rare condition. Nora Koros, manager of mental health and addictions services for Powell River Community Health, said the prevalence of mental illness is about the same in this community as it is everywhere else. This means that it is high. Statistics suggest one in 200 people live with bipolar disorder. One in 100 suffer from some form of schizophrenia. One in five people deals with some form of non-serious depression.
Canadian Mental Health Association projects that 20 per cent of Canadians will personally experience a mental illness in their lifetime. The same association states that suicide, which is related to mental illness in 90 per cent of incidents, accounts for 24 per cent of all deaths of those 15 to 24 years old and 16 per cent of those 24 to 44 years old.
Grady Sindlinger, a clinician with mental health and addiction services, said he doubts the accuracy of those statistics.
“I unashamedly say that I don’t believe the statistics are accurate, that pretty much any person has the capacity for having at least depression,” said Sindlinger. “Mental illness is normal, it’s a normal part of the human experience. That’s all there is to it.”
Despite how common mental illness is there is still a general fear and misunderstanding of mental illness and those who suffer from it, according to those who work with people with mental illnesses. Adding to the difficulty, many people with major mental illness do not even understand that they are ill, which is in itself a symptom of the illness. This all leads to stigma that not only stops people from speaking out about mental illness but can stop people suffering from mental illness from seeking help. It can inhibit families and friends of those with mental illness from knowing how to help.
“Mental illness is still recognized as a flaw in character or a lack of will to pull up your socks and get better, that it’s somehow within the person’s abilities and volition,” said Koros. “There is some embarrassment and the feeling that they would be identified by their illness and not by who they are.”
This is the first in a three-part series on mental illness leading up to a presentation by renowned psychologist and author Dr. Xavier Amador, 7:30 to 9 pm, Friday, February 24 at Max Cameron Theatre. It will focus on Amador’s approach to helping people with mental illnesses who do not realize they are ill. Tickets are $15 or $10 for students and seniors. For more information, readers can contact BC Schizophrenia Society regional coordinator Danita Senf at [email protected] or 604.485.8266.
